Thirteen. Thirteen years have passed since 9-11 and I still hear chaos all around. We all will never forget where we were, what we were doing, when we found out. I was in Freshman English Lit, prepping to give a speech about Selena. (Don’t ask!)

The buzz of the intercom came on and our principal, in a tone unbeknownst to me, said these fateful words. “Students, Staff and Faculty, there has been an attack on the World Trade Center in NYC and our Pentagon in Washington D.C. Effective right now we are in Code Yellow Lock Down and your families are being notified for early dismissal”.

Less than 25 minutes from where my school was located, sat the crumbling Pentagon. 25 minutes. Outside the locked doors and windows, stomachs turned as we saw fighter jets pacing the skies as they left from, what I assume to be Andrews Airforce base. Planes were being grounded in Dulles Airport and BWI. You would have thought the Blue Angels were putting on a show…but it was a show no one wanted to see.

White smoke lines traced the sky like checkerboard tiles. Yet the sky was blue as can be, sun was shinning and the air was still.

Knocks on our doors from our police filled hallways let us know it was time to be moved to the cafeteria where we had access to the T.V.s on rollie carts; The ones we were usually happy to see when we had a substitute for the day. By the time we turned it on, both were hit. It was like watching a scary movie we would later be in trouble for watching. R rated didn’t even suffice.

My mom, as well as other parents, came through the doors. I remember thinking, man that was fast, but man, what took her so long all at the same time. I ran to her and left my untouched bagel on the bench. Tears. By the buckets. I knew no one in those buildings. But it didn’t matter. They were someones loved ones. Someones mom, dad, sister, brother, child! At 15, its all too much to bear.

The rest of the day was spent locked in home as the fighter jets shook our house with ever passing. My sister, the weakest stomach in the family, staked claim over the bathroom. A small room of comfort where she locked herself with the water on to avoid the sounds of the planes above.

It was a horrible day. Forever etched in my memory.

Yesterday, my 5 year old son Nicholas came home from school.  He said “mommy, tomorrow is a sad day at school’. I said, “no its not silly, don’t be sad its just PICTURE day!” He said, “no mommy, a plane crashed into 2 building and killed a lot of people….why did they do that mommy?”

Buckets. Just like that day. I haven’t cried buckets like that SINCE that day.

It never realllllly occurred to me that I would have to tell and teach my son about this national tragedy. ONE I LIVED FOR…and one he will only ever read about in History Books.

It hit me all at once that I wanted to tell him it was make believe….that that kind of evil isn’t real. But that would be a lie. A huge lie. And one I didn’t want to tell him.

This day everyday is such a wake up call to LIFE. Am I doing everything I said I would? Am I taking advantage of this precious gift I get every single day? Am I a good person…am I a loving person? So many innocent lives taken far too early for no reason at all, at yet I was spared? Am I living a life of purpose and intent? Am I too focused on impressing others or myself?

Its heartbreaking that it takes such tragedies to shake the bones of some to think this way…to change their ways…but it does. It’s never too late to start living and live a life you can be proud of.

Take today to soak in the moments of silence around you. Say a prayer. Stand outside, breath in the air, look at that blue sky and soak in that glowing sun. Today, thirteen years later, God is here. He is all around. Trust and have faith that evil never wins. And love…..love for each other and our country has never been stronger.

GOD BLESS AMERICA. GOD BLESS THOSE WHO WERE TAKEN FAR TOO SOON. GOD BLESS THE FIRST RESPONDERS, MILITARY AND EVERYONE THAT STOOD UP FOR OUR COUNTRY WHEN WE NEEDED IT THE MOST. YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN. YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE OUR HEROES!

#NEVERFORGET

(Photo above- Weston, one of my grooms/servicemen….thank you for your love and service to this country. I appreciate you and thank you!)