It was a rough 2 weeks. I was lied to. Copied. Stolen. Ripped apart. Talked down to. Taken advantage of. Manipulated.

I was broken.

In the past two weeks my wedding collections were stolen. My entire FAQ and BIO part of my website were copied verbatim; so much so my business name was on their site IN MY FAQs. I was lied to by another photographer. I had quotes from other parts of my website, again copies directly and pasted on theirs.

I was told it was a compliment. Flattery.

I was told it was jealously, pathetic and rude.

I WAS TOLD IT ALL.

But what matters is HOW I FEEL. WHAT I THINK.

And here it is: I feel STUCK!

Stuck between what I feel, think and what I know is the right thing.

I am the least negative person. I hate drama and avoid those that bring it into my life. I am full of life, spirit and smiles. My heart is full everyday from the love my business gives back to me. My clients, fans and friends are my family. Nothing will change that.

This past week I was tested. It was a challenge. And partially, I failed.

If I were to give myself a grade on my reactions of what have happened to me lately I would say a “C”. (Still passing but never acceptable; at least that’s what my mother used to say : P)

My heart was full of anger. Frustration and ill wishes towards others. I was hurt, defeated and consumed with negative energy.

When you put your whole heart into something. Your blood, sweet, tears, money, time away from your loved ones…when you put everything on the line to fulfill your dreams…you protect that dream WITH ALL THAT YOU HAVE. All that you are. Much like my children/family…if anything or anyone tried to hurt them…MOM/protector mode sets in. All focus and energy and thoughts are directed towards protective detail.

With little to no pause or thought over the matter (fight or flight totally kicked in)….I fought. I lunged out with every ounce of the hate in my heart for those that betrayed me. Copied me. Stole ME! I wanted to make them pay. Retaliate. I wanted retribution!!!

And here is where I failed.

I failed to look beyond the situation. Pray on it. Ask, “why” instead of assume I knew.

 I PUBLICLY HUMILIATED ANOTHER IN RESPONSE TO THE HUMILIATION I FELT BEING COPIED, STOLEN AND BETRAYED.

And did it change anything? DID I FEEL BETTER?

Truth: For a moment. As my heart raced with every mean comment flying out of my brain and heart into my fingers tips and mouth. But only after did I stop to think, “why.”

So, I reached out to these people and I did what I SHOULD HAVE. I asked the loaded questions: “Why?”

One photographer told me, “All I can say is Im sorry, I know it was wrong, I just am new and wanted to have a great website and yours is the best, so I copied it.”

Another said, “I have no idea what your talking about, lots of people say that kind of stuff on their site, I would have worded it the same way anyway.”

And another said, NOTHING. Minor changes have been made to “correct the exact plagiarism” and avoid further legal action, but no apology has been made.

And lastly, another said, “I totally will change it, Im sorry. I was looking for inspiration and took lines from a bunch of websites and just pieced it all together for mine…whatever sounded best since I didn’t know how to word what I wanted to say.”

 

One person…out of 4 in two weeks said, “IM TRULY SORRY.”

 

And I have to be honest, I forgave them. I TRULY DO! In the beginning we IDOLIZE and look up to those we admire in the business or field we want to be in. Heck…if I ever wanted to be talk show host I would want to copy the CRAP out of Ellen. That girl is on fire, knows her stuff and is loved by EVERYONE!

If I wanted to be a novelist, I would want to steal almost everyone of Nicholas Sparks story lines. He has the best stories ever.

But here is the catch: NO MATTER HOW MUCH I COPY THEM….I WILL NEVER BE THEM. I could never back it up. Fakes fade out, Reals last forever.

 Copy- cats can not maintain. BUT…Originals can sustain.

The life and business lesson I learned from this is that there will ALWAYS be copy cats. I ammmmm flattered by those that admire my business, because it means that they admire me. But with admiration comes respect. RESPECT THOSE YOU ADMIRE, IT WILL GET YOUR FURTHER THAN TRYING TO BECOME THE ONE YOU SHOULD BE RESPECTING.

Copying is easier, but you will also fail faster. If you are true to yourself, you can never, EVER fail.

Many have said my brand has made such a name for itself. My designer says that other photographer  list my website as their inspiration. They list my bsuiness as one of the top brands next to the names of Jasmine Star and Katelyn James. (Still having a hard time wrapping my head around that one….wow!) BUT, I don’t think I am anywhere near their skill level. These women are highly talented and have been in the “game” much longer than I.

But what I can say I have taken from them when IIIIIII STARRTED OUT,  was how true to themselves they are. Katelyn, Jasmine, and so many other big names out there are so BIG because they are not trying to be or do anything that is not THEM. They look inside themselves for inspiration and thattttttt is why they are so AUTHENTIC!

My brand is 100% me. And that is why its successful. I put my heart and soul on display for all to see. Rip apart and tear down. Support and idolize. Its out there for all. So, when someone tried to copy it, the pain is deep for me…just as if your identity has been stolen…that is the pain and frustration I feel.

In the future though, I know no matter what that my family, friends and God are on my side. He WILL NEVER give me anything I can not handle. I trust and have faith that respect towards others who have gone through this same thing will be granted and given the respect they deserve.

 WE ARE NOT PERFECT. NO ONE IS.

 But you can be perfectly you, all day, everyday. Respect others. Respect yourself. And I am sorry for responding in an equally negative manor in response to your negative actions. As I have learned my lesson, I hope those of you whom this blog is about will or have learned yours.

xoxo, 

Kaitlin Noel