Yesterday on my Facebook business page I asked brides to be that are busy planning their weddings; ‘What has been one of the most stressful parts of the planning process?’

As a bride you are picking from hundreds and throusands of vendors, listening to your girlfriends before you that got married, managaing a mother and mother-in-laws opinions, trying to consider your husband-to-be’s opinion. I know it is all stressful looking from the inside out, and everyone has parts of the planning process they never want to deal with again. In fact, you all answered my question above in three simple words with an exclamation at the end: The Guest List!

Ok, so that is not as easy question or answer, but as a bride once myself, and being surrounded by 20+ brides of my own for this upcoming year, I can come to learn a few easy steps that could make the overall Guest List making phase of planning a lot more simple.

Kaitlin’s Tips, Advice and Steps to Making a Guest List That is Easy, NOT Stressful:

1.                    VIP LIST FIRST! I know, it is hard to think of your family and friends in a “VIP List or Order” but for your wedding day…the most important of days…and one of the most expensive of days, sticking to number and budget limits ARE in fact important. You and your hubby to be need to sit down, write out each of your immediate family members first. Follow with bridal party members, best friends and anyone who is as close as family to the real thing. This can be a neighbor whom you have know your whole life, a mentor from college, whatever or whoever…if they have had a major impact on your life and relationship, they NEED to be there. So include them first so they aren’t at the bottom of the “you may get booted list.” Hehe
2.                 CONSIDERATION IS KEY! So this is the part of the list everyone REALLY struggles with I find. It’s the part of the list that goes beyond family, best friends and the closest to our hearts. This part of the list is meant to include those who really SHOULD be there based on the simple merit that it would be awkward to NOT invite them, or just considered RUDE by the elders in your family if they aren’t there. For example, your great uncle and aunt…though you may only see them or talk to them every thanksgiving and Christmas, really need to be included. Unless you want to be the talk of the family or see them at the next family dinner where everyone is talking about your big day and they were the only ones not included. EEK! AWKWARD….DRAMA!! LOL
3.                   OVER DUE IT, WRITE THEM ALL DOWN! When I was a bride in the planning stages of my Guest List, I took to an open notebook and wrote down anyone and everyone that came to mind. I figured, if I could just think of them, that must mean I want them there in some weird way right? So this is a long process…its one that needs to fester over days in case you accidently forgot someone and their name just came to you driving the open road one day. Go through your email contacts, phone contacts. This part of this process is meant to show you everything all laid out before your eyes. How many people are you looking at, how to best arrange them after the immediate family/friends VIP List. When the names are written down and before your eyes, it makes the list more real and it makes defining it more organized. If the list is too long, don’t worry, that’s how the process starts for everyone. If its too short, don’t worry either. You have a lot on your mind. Take a step back and talk to your mom or hubby to be about who you are missing or totally forgetting. Brides…DON’T TRY TO MAKE THIS LIST ALONE! The more minds the better for this stage of planning.
4.                    The CUT LIST! Here comes the hardest part for so many. I always reference the scene in the father of the bride where they go through the cards and see how they can “throw out” or ask to not eat. Hehe  Clearly you can NOT do that, so you have to be realistic and stern with your budget. So, though we try to please everyone and want everyone to feel included….inviting your mail man no matter how friendly you are for daily mail drop off, isn’t necessary. The barista at starbuck’s who always knows your name, your drink and is so friendly…that’s amazing…but its not necessary to have her on the list. Get my drift? Make sure to save that extra space on the list for anyone you may have totally forgotten about that HAS to be there.
5.                  BE FLEXIBLE AND OPEN, BUT NOT A DOOR MAT! Ok as brides to be, it comes with the territory that our parents, especially if they are younger parents, they want to live vicariously through your wedding. They want to have a fancy dress, invite all their friends and have their favorite liquor or wine at their disposal at the open bar. My answer was this to my parents…because they weren’t paying for everything, I made it clear that if they wanted them there, they would have to pick up the tab. It quickly persuaded them that it wasn’t necessary. Luckily my family is pretty tight so they had fun with each other dancing to every 70s song that graced the dance floor. Lordy me! Watching the generation gaps enter and exit the floor as the Electric Slide played, then the Cupid Shuffle followed was a pretty fun experience to watch! : P
6.                AVOID THE GUILT! This is really where the stress comes from. You run into people on the street that have heard about your wedding plans from others, or read about it on Facebook and you INSTANTLY feel as though you need to rush home and send out a Save the Date to them to save face! NO! Most people understand that you simply CAN NOT invite everyone. It would be their fault if they make you feel as though you made an error in not inviting them. And, downright rude! This is your one day brides. Your one day to call the shots, have everything you want, the way you have dreamed since you were 5 playing with bridal Barbie and Ken. This is your one day to look back and and not have regrets…but simply happy memories. No drama, no guilt, no nothing. Just happiness! DO NOT let anyone…or any LIST interfere with your happiness on this day….for that is one this you WOULD regret!

So in recap…take the stress out of the dreaded Guest List and take your time. Make that VIP list of must have guests. Don’t invite every person you have ever met or who knows your coffee order. Keep your budget in mind so that you are not having to sacrifice on other vendors you want at your wedding…sayyyy….your wedding photographer. The last thing you want is to have to lower your budget on one of the most important vendors at you wedding, if not the MOST important. You and your hubby have the final say…and there needn’t be any guilt associated with that. You only get to plan once, live your wedding once…try to make every stage of planning memorable, enjoyable and exuding nothing but love, joy and happiness!

 

Good luck and happy ‘LISTING’!

XOXO,

Kaitlin Noel