Motherhood. There is no greater job in the world. But there is also no TOUGHER job in the world.

Before I became a mother, I had big plans. Great plans. I planned to be everything my mother was and wasn’t in the same regard…and then planned to be better. I planned to be the mom that played toys on the ground all day and would have a baby reading by the time they were 1. I planned that my child would love milk and veggies unlike other children. I planned that they would never pout or sulk; that they would be sweet, kind and patient human beings. I planned to have a baby that was dressed head to toe in the latest Baby Gap ensembles and would be picked up for modeling in a mall. I planned to make 6 figures, be a member of the PTA, be the classroom mom and host play dates on Saturdays. I planned for the soccer mom stickers on my back windshield, warm cookies after school and sliced oranges on game days. I even planned to be the mom that was dressed and had my hair done for morning drop offs to avoid looking like “those moms” in PJS every morning. I planned it all.

I failed.

I failed at it all.

None of that happened.

I cried for days in unison with my crying children that also cried for days at a time. I was lucky to shower 3-4 times in the week until they were the age of 4 and older. I yelled and spanked when I swore I wouldn’t. I put on cartoons while they played in their bouncers so I could lay horizontal for just a moment. I fed them McDonalds twice a week because they wouldn’t eat anything else. No milk, no veggies. I never went into their classrooms to help….that was my ONLY FREEDOM…THEM IN SCHOOL. I worked 3 jobs when they were 3 and under, while trying to start up a photography business. I barely made it to games, play dates or outside school functions. Anything on the weekends, count me out! I still don’t know half of the parents in my kids classes and they are the same parents from 3 years ago. I wear PJS, no bra and unbrushed teeth to every pick up, and sometimes drop off everyday. I am nothing that I planned to be for myself, or for my children.

I failed.

Today, as I approach the end of my slow season and am gearing up for another crazy and wild wedding season with nearly 40 weddings in the remaining 46 weeks of this year, I wanted to take a moment to write a letter to the mom I planned to be…and maybe even the mom YOU planned to be:

Dear “Perfectly Planned Mom”-

YOU HAVE NOT FAILED. If you are reading this now, you have made it through 100% of your worst days you swore you couldn’t make it through. Success. You have managed to create a family, a life of your own and support your children by any means necessary; no matter how hard it was. Success. You have gone days without sleep, days without showering, days without adult conversation, adult time or personal space. Success. You have children that smile, cry, fall, get back up, laugh, and breathe. Success. They are living life because of you! You are everything and more….in fact you are PERFECT to your children because you put them first. You kiss their boo boos. You hug them. Love them. And teach them. Success. Of course we you wish you could be there more during the busy season or during your heavy work weeks. Of course it breaks your heart when they cry at the door as your car pulls away because you have to work. Of course you wish you could have more patience, more money, more time, more anything that makes you “perfect” in the eyes of others. BUT STOP IT. You are perfect. You are their mother. You are their world. You are enough. Be proud. You do what you have to do and put others judgements and shaming out of your mind. You do your best, and that is the best! You are a mom boss, a girl boss, and a matriarch. You are a damn good mother who knows whats best for your family…your children. So buck up. Take a shower (you stink), drink a coffee (you look tired), put on yoga pants (because why wouldn’t you?!), give your kids a hug, say I love you…then look in a mirror mama bear….your nothing like you planned. Your better! Success!

xoxo, Kaitlin (MOM BOSS!)

P.S. To my mom bosses out there…we all know plans never work out. All we can do is our best and our best is good enough. Smile, you are far more successful than you give yourself credit for. NOW GO ON…You can do it!